Novel Cinderella Tears: Hailey's Story (Context Page)

Novel Cinderella Tears: Hailey's Story (Context Page)

CryptoTab

Saturday, August 31, 2019

Chapter Eight Part 3 of 3


~During the exact same time at the Gold Coast

Jeff was sitting in his office, of his trucking company. It was half past four in the afternoon. Jeff’s conversation with Jeffery the other day has gotten him thinking. Slowly, he opened up his draw, to look at the evidence that prove Rita is otherwise to what he believes in. The evidence was within an envelope.

Jeff’s sighed, he found it difficult to open the envelope and look at the material inside. He doesn’t want to see it, he doesn’t want to know that everything he believe about Rita is false, he doesn’t want to see the truth that Rita isn’t the weak, helpless and innocent victim that he thought she is, he doesn’t want to know that he is once again in a relationship where he is not the masculine male capable of protecting his woman, who is a weak, helpless and innocent victim that needs his protection, he has been desiring for a relationship of this sort for so long that the truth that is completely otherwise, is just too difficult for him to chew. He doesn’t want to know that he is once again in a relationship where, he is the one who is the real weak, helpless and innocent victim.

“WHY!!!” Jeff yelled. He felt like smashing something, into little piece, he stood up, ran to the wall and hit the wall with his fist eight time, until he finally burst into tears, he turned around, collapse to the ground and just sit there crying.

Outside the office, Jeff’s son Mike, who works as the accountant here, heard his father’s voice. Mike wanted to go inside to check on his father, but he was been stopped by Tom. Tom was working undercover within Jeff’s company, as a person working on the loading dock, so he could keep an eye on Jeff.

“Don’t do it. This is a good sign. It means he is starting to accept the truth.” Tom said

Mike looked at Tom

“If my theory is correct, then accepting the truth is a difficult thing for Jeff to do, under the circumstances. This is the first sign he is starting to accept the truth. It is a good sign. Let him cry for a while.” Tom said

“What if you go talk to him instead?” Mike said

“I don’t think that is a good idea. It would have a counter effect. He won’t listen to me. I am black. At worst case scenario, he might rebel against everything I said, with no consideration towards what it is, simply because I am black.” Tom said

“Why?” Mike asked

“Well, he might think he should do everything oppose to what I say, because he might believe that everything, I say must be wrong, because I am black.” Tom said

“You won’t have this sort of problem, when you were in the army?” Mike asked

“Are you kidding me? The army listen to the chain of command only, what my men think about black people is irrelevant. They disobey an order, they get court martial.” Tom said

Mike nodded and walked away from the stairs that goes to Jeff’s office on the second floor and moved back towards his desk, at the back of the loading dock to work on the truck drivers’ roaster and pay roll for next week.

Inside his office, Jeff was still crying “Why” Jeff whispered to himself. He sighed, Jeff had desire for a relationship where he is a masculine male that is capable of protecting his woman, who is a weak, helpless and innocent victim for so long and he doesn’t want to know that he is the real weak, helpless and innocent victim so much that the truth was been difficult for him to accept. But now after this major cry, Jeff is finally more psychologically prepared to accept the truth. Jeff still doesn’t want to accept the truth, but at least now he is more ready to handle it and is more ready to accept it, despite the fact he doesn’t want to.

Jeff looked at the evidence within the envelope, phone conversation Rita had with her family in China indicating that she is playing Jeff as a fool and how her family is against it, Rita’s divorce paper with her husband, photos of Rita is still in a steaming hot relationship with her husband that she divorced and the photo of them still having sex in the motel every weekend that is when Rita says she goes to her cooking class, in making British cakes and teas, how Rita makes fun of Jeff behind his back and Rita’s racist statement towards white people.

This was still all a little bit too much for Jeff to take in, his mind once again started constructing opinion that contradict the idea that he is the weak, helpless and innocent victim in this situation and start constructing opinion that is in favor of the idea that he is in a relationship where he is a masculine male that is capable of protecting his woman, who is Rita, who is a weak, helpless and innocent victim that needs his protection.

“Maybe…maybe Rita…no it can’t be this. She is my Rita. My relationship with her is just as I think. She is the weak, helpless and innocent victim that requires my protection. I mean god dame its Jeff, what is wrong with you, think about it, I am white and she is Asian, you do the math. She is doing this to get away from her family in Asia. Her husband must be treating her like crap that is why she comes here, he must have been beating her up on a daily basis. Rita’s marriage with her husband must be an arrange marriage, where her family force her into it and her husband must be a sexist pig and her family couldn’t care less, because they believe once after a woman is married, they are the property of their husband, her family can’t be bother to care less, those fucked ass holes. That is why Rita divorced her husband, she wants to get away from him, but he found her, he tracked her down and her family helped her husband to track Rita down, because her family believes that Rita abandoning her husband is immoral, under any circumstances and it brings shame to her family. So now Rita pretends to be in good term with her ex-husband, just to stay on his good side, she is afraid of him, his husband is a violent man that must be it.” Jeff thought, he was still not ready handle the truth and the truth was still all a little bit too much for Jeff to take in, his mind once again started constructing opinion that contradict the idea that he is the weak, helpless and innocent victim in this situation and start constructing opinion that is in favor of the idea that he is in a relationship where he is a masculine male that is capable of protecting his woman, who is Rita, who is a weak, helpless and innocent victim that needs his protection.

Jeff went back to believing that he is in a relationship where he is not a weak, helpless and innocent victim, he went back to believing that he is a relationship where he is a masculine male capable of protecting a woman that is a weak helpless and innocent victim, who needs his protection and that woman is Rita. In some way, believing in a lie was much easier for Jeff then to confront the truth right now. Jeff was still not fully ready to face the truth.

There was even more evidence against Rita in the envelope. Jeff looked at the envelope. “I don’t need to look at it. I know the truth.” Jeff thought to himself, but the truth is that Jeff was afraid to look at it, he was afraid to see more evidence that contradict his believe, he was afraid of the truth that is otherwise to what he believes in.

Tom notices that Jeff stop crying and know that Jeff was most likely to have gone back to be in denial.

“It is time to send in the cavalry.” Tom said to Mike. Then he turned towards Tristan who was sitting at the desk, behind Mike “Tristan, you are on.” Tom said

Tristan is Jeff’s big brother and just like Jeff’s children, Tristan wants Jeff to snap out of it and therefore join this intervention that Tom organized to help Jeff, before Jeff really lost everything to Rita.

Tristan, walked into Jeff’s office.

“I heard a few loud bangs within your office. Are you alright?” Tristan said. Jeff was still sitting on the floor

“Yeah, I’m fine, how long have you been here.” Jeff asked. Tristan doesn’t work for Jeff. Jeff has no idea that Tristan was within his company today, until he showed up within Jeff’s office.

“I came here to see how my baby brother is doing. You know, mum is still worry about you. She is wondering how you are holding up, after Sabrina’s death.” Tristan said.

“I am fine.” Jeff said

“You are fifty-six years old, mum is eighty-one and you still make her worry.” Tristan said

“She worries about me too much.” Jeff said

“You have always been mum’s favor.” Tristan said

“I know.” Jeff said

“What is this?” Tristan said looking at the envelope with the evidence.

“It is nothing.” Jeff said

Tristan looked at the material within the envelope. “This is the Rita you are talking about? She doesn’t look too much like the weak, fragile and delicate flower you say she is.” Tristan said

“She is.” Jeff said he snatched the evidence out of Tristan’s hand. “I know her.” Jeff said

“Have you looked at the materials in this envelope?” Tristan asked

“I don’t need to see it. I know her. She is a delicate and fragile flower that needs my protection.” Jeff said

“Why do you think that is the case?” Tristan asked

“My experience with her.” Jeff said

“Does it include the material in this envelope?” Tristan asked

“No, I know what she is like, already. I am sure she got a justifiable explanation for all these.” Jeff said

“You really have that much faith in, what you believe she is?” Tristan said

“There are people in this world that can be trusted and people in this world that cannot be trusted. Rita is one of those people that are trust worthy. I know my judgment is correct, I know it. I can’t be wrong.” Jeff said

"You know? I was watching news the other day and that Federal Education Minister Chan Wong…” Tristan’s sentence was been cut off.

“I can’t believe they let an Asian become Federal Minister. I mean, what is next, a Muslim?” Jeff said unhappily.

“Why, do you think we are superior then they are?” Tristan asked

“Well, for starter we are the more civilized culture aren’t we, I mean Jesus do you even know how they treat their woman?” Jeff said

“I live in Asia before and they are not that sexist.” Tristan said

“Yeah, but that is because they have westernized, we brought civilization to them. Equality between man and woman is a western ideology, for Christ sack. Now they think they can tell us what to do? Chan Wong, my ass.” Jeff said

“You know there was a time where the west was very sexist as well, you know?” Tristan said

“Yeah, but we evolve beyond that.” Jeff said

“And now we are not a sexist society anymore.” Tristan said

“And the rest of the world hasn’t. I mean, some of them aren’t sexist anymore, because they westernize. I mean, equality between men and women is a western ideology.” Jeff said

“So, you believe none western culture are not capable of been not sexist, without western influence?” Tristan said

“I don’t know, maybe.” Jeff said

“Look, just because a culture is not a western culture, does not mean, they are not capable of having positive attributes, without the influence of the west. Yes, some culture might in some way be influenced by another nation, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it is, due to the influence of the west. Sometime, two completely different cultures might have one common value, even if they never met, it doesn’t mean one influence another, it is just a coincident that they happen to believe in the same thing. For example, in Asia people such as Confucius been talking about equality for all, when the west was still dominated by the idea of 'King is god's given right' It is with attitude like this, that causes a great deal of the world to think we are a racist country, because every time when a none western country, have a set of positive value that is same as ours’, we naturally assume that is something that come into existence, as a form of western influence and westernization and when their believes in those values, do not come into existence due to a western influence and that is usually the case, they start to get offended and start calling us racist, because we assume this culture believe of their is a form of westernization.” Tristan said

Jeff didn’t say anything, for a conservative man who believes for the west to be the parent and none west to be the child Jeff found it a bit hard to swallow. “I guess so.” Jeff said. “You really changed, within your years working in Japan.”

“Moving to none western country, opened my eyes to a lot of things. It is the same with everybody, none westerners moving to a western country, will have their eyes open to a lot of things too.” Tristan said

“Alright, fine, I guess that Chan Wong is Ok? Still, it is weird, considering the fact that he is not exactly White.” Jeff said

“Western culture or not western culture, I believe Australia is currently a nation that belongs to its people, which includes native and none native Australians. The natives are Aboriginal and none native are the ones from the rest of the world, most of them are white, but not all of them and yes, none native are the majority in comparison to the natives. But that still doesn’t change the fact that Australia, is a nation of both natives and none natives.” Tristan said

“Where do you get this idea from, Chan Wong again?” Jeff asked

“Nan, the Deputy Prime Minister.” Tristan said

“I am still use to the idea that Australians are white, but I guess you are right, although I am not very comfortable with it. Well, at least the Deputy Prime Minister is white.” Jeff said

“That is the thing about the truth. They are not always the most comfortable thing to be accepted. Sometime, they can be very confronting.” Tristan said

“So, what is the thing, that this Chan Wong guy said, you were about to tell me about.” Jeff asked

“I forgot what I was going to tell you. How did we get to that topic anyway?” Tristan asked

"You asked me, why I have faith that Rita is the weak and delicate flower that I believe she is and I told you that, sometime we need to trust a person, it is important and I know that, my judgment about Rita is correct and I can’t be wrong.” Jeff said

“So why do you trust Rita?” Tristan asked

“She is a weak and delicate flower, people like that are always trust worthy.” Jeff said

“Let’s assume you are right about weak and delicate flower can always be trust, how can you be certain, she is one of them?” Tristan said

“My experience with her.” Jeff said

“Does that included the material in this envelope, because it surly doesn’t support you believe.” Tristan said

“No, it doesn’t include the material, within the envelope. But look, I know her. I know what she is like and I know she is a weak, fragile and delicate flower. I know she is. I know it and I know there is a justifiable excuse, for her to be doing what she is doing, within this envelope. I know it.” Jeff said

“You really have that much faith in her?” Tristan said

“Yes, I do.” Jeff said, he lied, his true answer that was inside his head right now is “Yes, I have to believe so, because if I believe otherwise, I might no longer believe I am in a relationship, where I am a masculine male capable of protecting my woman and my woman is a weak, helpless and innocent victim that require my protection.”

“Is this what you really believe in or is this what you want to believe in? Be honest with yourself, Jeff.” Tristan said

“It is not what I believe in, it is the truth.” Jeff said

“Where are proves then?” Tristan asked

“My experience with her.” Jeff said

“These evidences suggest otherwise.” Tristan said

Jeff is starting to lose patient “Look, I told you she is a weak, delicate and fragile flower. There are justifiable excuses for her action. You want prove? I gave you prove. What else do you want from me?” Jeff said

“I want you to look at all the evidence, not just look for examples that can be used to justify you believe that Rita is a weak, delicate and fragile flower. I want you to make your determination base on all of your evidences, both evidences that support what you believe in and contradict it. I do not want you to ignoring contradicting evidence, like for example the material inside this envelope. I want you to determine whether Rita is a weak, delicate and fragile flower, based on all of the evidences not just examples you can use to support that believe. I want you to look at evidences that contradict it, also.” Tristan said

“If I look at contradicting evidence, then it would undermine the truth and the truth is that she is a weak, delicate and fragile flower.” Jeff said

“No, you say it is the truth, because you believe it is, doesn’t necessary mean that is the case. Believing that she is weak, delicate and fragile flower is what you want to believe in, not what is happening for real. Ever since you were a boy you want to be the hero, you want to be the masculine one, but the reality is that you are always a victim. You believe you should be the knight in shinny armor in a fairytale and the other women should be the fairytale princess that is a weak, innocent and helpless, but in reality, you are always the weak, innocent and helpless victim that needs the protection of others, they are the ones who play the role of knight in shinny armor, where you play the weak, helpless and innocent victim and some of those who protect you are woman, who you believe should be the victim. Even back in school, when you get bullied in the third grade and fourth grade, Sally Thomas stuck up for you, against the bully. Then after high school, you own the loan sharks so much money, because you believe that they are decent guys. It was Sabrina that solved the problem for you. Now, it is still your sons, who are sustaining your business, of your trucking company. You find yourself playing the role that need to be protected, playing the victim, when you really want to play the hero, your entire life. This is not a situation where you are the hero and Rita are the victim, it is what you want to believe in, because you always want to be the hero, where in reality you are always the victim. Now, for the first time in your life, you thought you have finally become the hero capable of protecting a weak, helpless and innocent female victim. As a result, when reality that suggest otherwise hit, you cannot handle it. You just choose to ignore it contradiction evidence. You start looking for excuse, to justify this contradiction information, to be something that is in coalition with what you want to believe and what you want to believe in is that you are the hero and she is the victim, but you have no prove saying that these contradicting evidence are really a reflection of a situation that is in coalition with it. It is just what you want to believe in, with no regards to whether that is the case or not. Because you want to be, you desire, you obsess to be in a relationship, where you are the knight in shining armor capable of protecting your woman, who is a weak, helpless and innocent victim that requires your protection, nothing more. Your daughter say she would leave that gangster guy, if you leave Rita, are you considering it? No, you are not, because if you leave Rita, you would be leaving a relationship, that you believe to be of what you desire and you are definitely not willing to accept a truth, that this relationship is otherwise to what you believe for it to be, especially, if it is one where you are once again a victim.” Tristan said

“I AM THE MAN. I AM SUPPOSE TO BE HERO THAT IS MY ROLE AND I AM NOT GOING TO LET YOU, THE TRUTH OR ANYONE OR ANYTHING SHOW ME OTHERIWSE, WHETHER THE TRUTH IS WHAT I BELIEVE IN OR NOT!!!” Jeff yelled angrily.

Tristan didn’t say anything. He took his tape recorder out of his pocket, press the button of stop recording.

“You have been recording our entire conversation? What is this?” Jeff frowned and said

Tristan didn’t respond, he rewinds the recorder and played the last part, where Jeff yelled angrily.

Jeff stood there in shock, after he finished listening to it. It is only now he knew how ridicules he has been.

“You are fifty-six years old. Time to grow up, baby brother.” Tristan said

Jeff wiped “I am the victim again, am I?” Jeff said

“I can’t give you an answer. You have to figure that out for yourself.” Tristan said

“So, Rita is not a weak, helpless and innocent victim, I think she is?” Jeff sobbed

“Maybe she is, maybe she isn’t. I don’t know her. I only know you are obsessed with the idea that she is a weak, helpless and innocent victim and you refuse to believe otherwise, even if the truth that is completely 110% otherwise, has been served up to you on a silver platter. That is all I know. You are fifty-six years old, baby brother. It is time to grow up. You can’t go around acting like the little boy, crying for what he wants in the super market anymore.” Tristan said

“I just want to believe I am in the sort of relationship I desire, is that really too much to ask?” Jeff said

“But, if you just choose to believe you are in the sort of relationship you desire, despite the fact you are not, you are just lying to yourself, to believe in something that isn’t there. Is that what you really want?” Tristan said
“You think about it. We are not children anymore, baby brother. Sometime, we can’t always have what we want, just like I can’t use my son’s collage fund, to pay an entire girl volleyball team to have sex with me, despite the fact I am divorced. I want to, but I can’t. It is alright to have desires. But sometimes, we need to prioritize other stuff, before our desires. I know it suck, but we are not in heaven yet, once we are in heaven, by all mean, put your desire before everything else, but up until then, we can’t always put our own desire ahead of everything else and sometime, we just have to let it go.” Tristan said

“That is sad.” Jeff said

“I know, baby brother, it is.” Tristan said and then he left.


History Racist and Bible Belts doesn't want you to know about

http://projects.mcah.columbia.edu/nanxuntu/html/state/ideas.pdf
http://dld.bz/hy2Qq



No comments:

Post a Comment